Free

Anna-Marie is a young, black maid working for a white southern family. She cleans, cooks, sews, and looks after the young children in the house and the baby when their mother is busy. The work is mind-numbing. Boring and unchallenging. The individuals she works for are okay for the most part. The parents of the house generally treat her with some amount of respect and don't mistreat her. The children can be cruel as children can be, but they are fine for the most part as well. There is a boy in the family, however, her age, as sweet as can be. Anna-Marie has a crush on him.

Anna-Marie sets the table for the family each night. The boy she likes, named Ferris, thanks her when she sets his plate down. She says nothing, but smiles shyly and backs away into the kitchen for her own dinner.

Ferris is the only one who ever thanks her for anything. It's one of the reasons she likes him so much.

She eats quickly and silently peers out from the kitchen, looking at Ferris. At the same moment, he glances and looks at her with a little smile. Anna-Marie ducks out of sight again with a fearful sigh.

She listens to their conversation.

"What are you smiling about, Ferris?" His mother, Julie, asks.

He hastily says, "oh, nothing."

"How's your girlfriend?" Julie wonders as she cuts a piece off her steak.

Ferris is quiet. His mother had picked out that girl for him, but he never seemed to like her very much, it seems to Anna-Marie. "It's going fine, Mom."

Their father is quiet, as he usually is. Anna-Marie thinks of him as a scary man. He says to Ferris, "you're eighteen. You should be moving out soon."

Ferris clears his throat awkwardly. "I've almost saved up enough..."

His father nods his approval. "Good."

There are other conversations between the children, but when everyone is done eating, Julie calls for Anna-Marie to clear the table and clean the dishes, saying Anna-Marie can leave afterwards.

Anna-Marie does her job without thinking, and she does it swiftly, except when she gets to Ferris' plate. She can't help but look him in the eyes. She leans over to put the dishes she had already collected down on the edge of the table and simultaneously picks Ferris' up; her free arm accidentally bumps into the plates and they shatter on the ground.

Anna-Marie's cheeks are hot with fear. She worries she might be fired.

Ferris is merely smiling at her silently, biting back laughter. His mother, on the other hand, is not so kind. "Clean that up! Be glad I don't take that out of your pay."

"Sorry ma'am." Anna-Marie apologizes.

Ferris gets up from his seat saying, "here, let me help you with that..."

His mother cuts in and says, "no need, it's her job and her mistake, Ferris."

Ferris ignores her and helps anyway. Julie shrugs and lets him.

Ferris kneels and helps her pick up the big pieces of glass, and looks up at her with a wink when their hands waver over the same piece. Anna-Marie withdraws her hand and lets Ferris pick it up, her heart beating fast.

They throw the big shards away and Ferris holds the dustpan while Anna-Marie sweeps the small shards into it.

He looks at her through thick-rimmed glasses the whole time she does. Anna-Marie doesn't look him in the eye. She is too scared.

Once all the glass pieces are swept up, Anna-Marie apologizes to Julie again and then cleans the rest of the dishes before grabbing her purse and heading for the door. She sees Ferris on her way out and whispers, "thank you..."


Anna-Marie takes the bus home and leans her head against the window. She pines endlessly over a man she knows she can't have--that she shouldn't have. She feels delusional over the fact that he may have been flirting with her.

Why couldn't she fall in love with someone like herself? Why was he the only one she had ever felt attracted to?

Anna-Marie has only had one boyfriend--the same race as herself--who she had only dated for three months before breaking up with. He was a nice person, and she has no idea why she never actually felt attracted to him.

When Anna-Marie arrives in her neighborhood, she gets off the bus and knocks on the door to her house.

Her mother gets the door and asks Anna-Marie, "how was work?"

Anna-Marie just nods with a smile, still feeling flustered and frustrated over the day's events. Anna-Marie doesn't have her own room, but shares it with her four other siblings.

There are a few books on the shelf of the room that remind Anna-Marie of school. She liked school, and wished she hadn't had to stop going to help with the bills. She doubly wished she hadn't had to stop going because then she never would have met Ferris.

Anna-Marie's siblings beg her to read for them. She grabs a book from the bookshelf, and begins reading to them. She falls asleep before they do.


At work the next day, Anna-Marie admires the dress Julie has on as she gets to cooking breakfast. It's a blue colored dress that falls just below her knees with a polka-dot pattern and a nice poof at the waist. Anna-Marie is jealous that she'll never be able to afford something so pretty.

Julie says to Anna-Marie while she makes breakfast, "oh, Anna-Marie, I'm going to dinner tonight with Mark tonight. You can watch the kids, right?"

Anna-Marie nods, "yes ma'am."

While Anna-Marie does her work around the house, the children, Michael and Sharon yell at each other and squeal loudly. Anna-Marie wishes Julie would shut them up.

Eventually, Ferris, who is doing homework and is home today because it's his day off, puts down his papers and pencil and sharply calls to his younger siblings, "quiet! I'm doing homework."

Anna-Marie silently thanks him.


When Julie and Mark are out of the house, and it's just Anna-Marie and the children, she is surprised to see Ferris still at home. Usually he makes plans with friends on his days off.

He kindly plays with the children while she finishes cleaning up the house.

Eventually, as Anna-Marie gets to making dinner for the children, she wipes her forehead with a very quiet sigh, wishing it weren't so hot.

Anna-Marie opens a cupboard in the kitchen, reaching for the black pepper. Ferris appears at her side and grabs the pepper for her. He hands it to her silently.

Anna-Marie clears her throat. "You really don't have to help..."

"Come on, I'm bored--let me help." He replies.

"Okay, sure..." Anna-Marie replies quietly, not wanting him to fire her.

Together, they make a simple dinner of steamed vegetables and rice. As Anna-Marie stirs the pot of rice she says quietly, after minutes of silence, "thanks for helping the other day."

"You're welcome," he replies, leaning against the counter in the kitchen. He looks down, searching for something to ask her. "Do you go to school?"

Anna-Marie doesn't want to talk to him. She doesn't want to get attached to him further, but she has to answer him. "I used to..."

"Did you have to quit to help with the bills?" He asks curiously.

She nods silently. Her back is facing him as she stirs. She doesn't want to look at him.

"That's too bad... Did you like it?" He continues. "I know I don't."

"I liked it." She says simply.

He clears his throat. "Do you resent us?'"

"No." Anna-Marie is taken aback by his question. She feels uncomfortable about him seeming to care about her situation.

Silence. And then he says, "you know, you can be yourself around me. I really don't care that we're--different."

Anna-Marie breaths in fearfully. After a moment she says to him, "why?"

"Because you seem sincere, and I like you. The rest doesn't matter to me." He answers.

Anna-Marie is imagining things again. He says, I like you, not, I love you. Her ears only hear what they want to hear, however, and it causes her heart to skip. She stays quiet.

"This is your first job, right? How are my parents treating you?" He wonders.

She doesn't mean to say it, but she says, "better than you."

Ferris is shocked, he is angry for a moment, but then he calms down. He realizes she is right. "You've seen my bruises, huh?"

Anna-Marie shrugs.  

Just then, the door clicks and his parents walk in. He stops talking.

He walks away from her and sits down on the couch quickly.


Anna-Marie lies in bed with her siblings and thinks about Ferris. She is jealous of him, as well as having affections for him. He can go to school--have good jobs--things she could probably never hope to have.

Anna-Marie chastises herself. He may have access to those things, but what he doesn't have access to is a loving family.

Anna-Marie loves her family, but is also resentful of them, because she has no privacy. No room to call her own, no space to just think about things quietly. It is trying, but she also doesn't know what she'd do without her loved ones.

Anna-Marie, like many people, yearns for greatness. Yearns for her own mark on the world. But she knows she will never achieve such a thing because of her race. She knows Ferris can achieve such a thing. She realizes she may want to vicariously live through him, because he can achieve the things she can't. Perhaps that is why she has a crush on him.


In the morning, Anna-Marie notices that Ferris has a black eye again. His mother is still asleep and his father is sitting on the couch, reading the paper.

Ferris is working on homework before heading to work. Anna-Marie brings the two their cups of coffee.

When she hands the coffee to Ferris, he looks her right in the eyes and takes the coffee. He smiles at her. A smile that her mind twists into a flirtatious smile. She must be imagining things. Even with his black eye, she can't help but linger near him for a moment and admire his green eyes and adorable freckles.

She backs away quickly and gets to making scrambled eggs.

While in the kitchen, she hears Mark say, "Ferris, I'm sorry about last night."

Ferris says nothing. He keeps working on his homework.

There is awkward silence as Anna-Marie serves them breakfast. After they finish eating, Mark heads to work. It's still another hour before Ferris leaves.

Anna-Marie washes the dirty dishes and cleans up the kitchen when Ferris appears beside her.

"Can I help you?" Ferris asks.

Anna-Marie shakes her head and focuses on washing the dishes. She doesn't turn around to look at her. "You have work in an hour, right?"

Ferris leans against the counter quietly. "My grades were really starting to slip, so I quit."

Anna-Marie stops washing the dishes for a moment and she turns around to face him. "Is that why the... Black eye?"

Ferris nods quietly, looking down with an awkward smile.

She turns her back to him again and continues washing the dishes. "Do you plan on getting another job? Or just concentrating on school?"

"I'll get another one once the semester's over..." He trails off, not wanting to talk about it. After a moment he says, "so, when you went to school, what was your favorite subject?" He asked curiously.

She thought about it for a moment. "Math."

He crossed his arms with a smile. "I wasn't expecting that. Not many people like math."

She shrugs. "I didn't like it the way my teacher taught it, but my Mom taught it to me better when I came home."

He is silent for a moment, and then he says, "she did, huh...?"

There are minutes of silence before Anna-Marie says, "what was your favorite subject?"

He laughs a little. "I don't know... None of it really appeals to me. It's all pretty boring."

"You should study with your friends. It always makes things more fun." Anna-Marie suggests.

"Like you?" He replies.

Anna-Marie blushes. "You shouldn't make jokes..."

"Who's joking?" He is serious. She can tell by his tone of voice. She doesn't know why he is trying to get to know her. It scares and excites her.

"I'm... Flattered. But you and I could get into trouble." She says evenly.

"You're right," he says.


Ferris doesn't go out for the rest of the day. He is tired and goes back to bed after being up for many hours. The older children are at school, and Julie is looking after the baby while Anna-Marie cooks and cleans.

Around dinner time, Julie is once again consoling her fussy baby and asks Anna-Marie to go fetch the sleeping Ferris from his room.

She climbs the stairs and turns down the hall to left and stops at the first door. She knocks. "Ferris? We'll eat soon..."

No answer. She finds it strange for him to be sleeping throughout the day. Why was he so tired?

Eventually, she hears him pad across the room, and she breathes easily. She heads downstairs.


During dinner, there's a knock on the front door. Everyone is confused, but after a moment, Ferris scowls. "I told her no..."

He opens the door, and there is a girl standing there. A girl with yellow hair who Anna-Marie can only assume is his girlfriend.

He says to her, "Sally, I told you that I didn't want to have dinner with you tonight..."

"I hardly see you at all anymore. I want to eat dinner with you." It sounds like a command.

Julie says sternly, "Ferris..."

Ferris sighs. "Sorry, mom. Come eat with us, Sally. Can you set an extra place, Anna-Marie?"

She nods. "Yes sir,"


Anna-Marie hears the conversation from the kitchen while they eat.

"It's so nice to eat with you again, Ferris..." Sally says cheerily.

Ferris doesn't reply.

After a minute of silence, Sally, on the verge of tears says, "Ferris, is there something wrong?"

"No. I just have a lot on my mind lately. I'm sorry, Sally." Ferris says apologetically. He adds, "please don't cry..."

After a moment she replies, "how about we go out tomorrow?"

There is a pause, and then Ferris replies, "sure..."


It is weeks before Anna-Marie talks with him alone again. Sally drags him out with her almost every day. He seems happy about it, which Anna-Marie is relieved and jealous about. Relieved that she is no longer thinking thoughts that are taboo with him around, and jealous because she likes, and seems to like no other, no matter how much she may not want to.

Eventually, however, Julie, Mark, and their children go out for a whole day on the town. Ferris stays behind, saying he doesn't feel well. Anna-Marie is told to clean up and then go home. Julie doesn't want to pay her for the whole day when only one person is home.

Ferris is quiet throughout the day. He stays in his room most of the day. Eventually, when Anna-Marie is done cleaning and is about to head home, he comes down the stairs and sees her.

"Leaving already?"

"She said I could go once I was done..." Anna-Marie explains.

They just look at each other silently for a moment. Anna-Marie turns toward the door, but Ferris says, "wait!"

She turns back around and looks him in the eye again.

"There's plenty of time... Would you help me with this math problem?" He asks.

Anna-Marie raises and eyebrow. "I really don't remember much about math... I know I told you I liked it, but..."

"Come on--I'm sure you'll still be better at it than me."

"Why don't you call Sally over to study with you?" She questions.

He has no answer. He just looks at her intensely. Anna-Marie knows she should open the door and go home. She knows she should leave before she does something unwise. She should leave before her mind twists his harmless invitation into something romantic.

But she ignores her good sense. "Okay,"

He sets up a math book on the living room table with plenty of lined paper to doodle on.

Anna-Marie awkwardly sits next to him at the table and scoots her chair as far away from him as politely possible.

Ferris is working on trigonometry. Anna-Marie liked trigonometry.

"I've been working on this problem..." He says.

Anna-Marie remembered these. It was a proof, where the goal was to get one side of the equation to match the other.

"I get to step three, and then I get stuck..." He explains.

Anna-Marie replies, "go through the steps and I'll watch. Hopefully my memories of how to work the problem will come back."

At first, things are incredibly awkward and quiet. At least on Anna-Marie's part. Ferris tries to make conversation--tries to get her to open up.

As Anna-Marie works her way through the problem he showed her, he says, "I can't believe you still remember how to solve it. I'm shocked."

"I haven't been out of school that long..." Anna-Marie says with a little smile.

Silence again, and then when she finishes the problem and they check it, it matches up with the answer in the back of the book.

Ferris goes through her work and compares it with his own. He groans. "One little mistake... Is this your hobby or something?"

She laughs aloud. "I don't have time for hobbies... Or privacy for them. I used to like to make dresses for my little sister, but I don't have the time or energy anymore."

Ferris is quiet and looks down. He feels guilty.

"Don't feel bad. I needed the work, and I'm glad to work for a respectable and kind family."

Ferris smiles at her. "Maybe luckier than me... I feel pretty lonely most of the time."

"Even around Sally?" Anna-Marie asks.

He's quiet. He manages to express, "I never really had any feelings for her. She's sweet, but... I can't explain it. She's hard to talk to. There's nothing to her. She's happy and she never really worries."

"You should tell her you don't have feelings for her. You're being cruel to her."

He nods in agreement but replies, "mom would be so disappointed, though..."

"Your mom set you up with her, right

He nods. "She was worried about me. I only dated one person before Sally, and that was about three years ago. Mom thought I was broken up about it."

"You weren't?" Anna-Marie asks.

He shrugs. "I didn't like her very much either. Loud and obnoxious."

Anna-Marie laughs.

"And you?" He queries.

She folds her hands in her lap with slumped shoulders. "It's the same for me. I only had one boyfriend before. He was nice, but I didn't have any real feelings for him."

"You can't force yourself to love someone, can you?"

Anna-Marie is silent, and then looks at the wall thoughtfully. "Right."


They go over a few more problems together. Since they broke the ice a bit, Anna-Marie starts having fun. She becomes more talkative.

She gets stuck on a problem and says with frustration, "this is stupid! When are you ever going to use this?"

He laughs. "I probably won't..."

"What do you want to be? I'm assuming whatever it is, math probably isn't required?" Anna-Marie asks curiously.

He shrugs, "I hate every subject I've ever taken. I'd just love to do nothing all day."

Anna-Marie laughs now, and then she sighs. "But you can do anything you want..."

He seems a little angry. "You think I can do anything I want? Just because I'm white? I haven't got any money, any high standing--I'm not going to any sort of amazing school. Just because you push yourself doesn't mean you'll make it anywhere."

Anna-Marie sweats nervously. She hopes again that she isn't fired. "I'm really sorry..."

He shakes his head with a little smile. "It's okay. You're right. I should try harder. You should, too. It's harder for you, but maybe you could do something amazing, too."

Anna-Marie is incredulous that he would say something so positive about her. For a moment, she completely believes him; she thinks maybe it is possible for her to do something wonderful.

But she comes back to reality. Greatness is so far from her reach that she could never hope to have it She just says to him, "you're very kind..."

"It's the truth. You're very smart." He says honestly. "What job would you want?"

"Any job where I'm not scrubbing dishes or picking up after children."

He chuckles "We have that in common. I got really sick of scrubbing dishes at my job, too. A job like that..."

He shakes his head. Anna-Marie understands.

After a few hours, Anna-Marie has to go home before Ferris' parents come back. She turns to him before leaving and waves goodbye.


She feels excited from the day's events. He keeps trying to get closer to her. He laughs with her. He accidentally touches her as they both reach for the pencil, and she apologizes, thinking he might be offended by her touching him. He just smiles silently.

Why is he doing this? He couldn't possibly have any real feelings for me.

She thinks to herself that he might be lonely. She thinks there must be some other explanation as to why she thinks he is flirting with her. She wonders exactly why she finds him so intoxicating. There is no reason, other than the kindness he has shown her and his physical appearance. And he's--interesting. He kind of strange individual who doesn't like to talk much, but thinks deeply.


As a year passes, Ferris gets another job. Anna-Marie, against her better judgment, decides to start saving up for college, inspired by what Ferris said to her. Ferris gets her to spend time with him everytime they are alone in the house together. He still has no girlfriend.

In no time, she feels like she knows him better than she does her own family. She feels like he knows her better than anyone in his family.

At home and at school, Anna-Marie was always a quiet, understanding girl. She did what she was told and she was efficient at it. With Ferris, she was a quirky girl who liked to tell stupid jokes.

"Hand me the salt. It's in the container that's whiter than you."

She also liked to complain--good-naturedly--about little things that got under her skin.

"Your Mom always leaves the darned mayonnaise out. It's terrible."

Oftentimes, they just talked to each other for a few hours before she went home. Other times, they would read to each other because they both realized they liked it when they read aloud from the trigonometry book a year ago. They both seemed to like sci-fi books.

She still has a crush on him, but it is more tolerable because she has formed a relationship with him, rather than watching him from afar.

Anna-Marie learns that he doesn't like to talk about his family. She learns that he has trouble making friends, and he's completely okay with that. It isn't that he wants friends, it's just that he knows it's normal to have them, and that his family worries about him for not having them. He's a serious and intense individual who rarely makes jokes, but loves to laugh at them.

He likes to build her up. He tells her how smart she is and encourages her to keep saving up for college.

One day, he says something very out of the ordinary when his family isn't home. "You get prettier by the day..."

They're just sitting together on the sofa, and she blushes when he says it and looks away. "You shouldn't say that..."

He shrugs. "But it's true."


In time, another year passes. Ferris and Anna-Marie like to write a story they came up with together when the house is empty. They don't want it to get published; it's just for fun.

They write notes together at the living room table, and some of Anna-Marie's funny attitude must have rubbed off on Ferris, because he tells a joke for the story that sends her into a laughing fit.

She stop laughing eventually and wipes away a tear of laughter.

Ferris is looking at her with an intense frown.

For many moments, Ferris lingers just inches away from her face--just looking at her. Anna-Marie loses self control and kisses him.

At first he is taken aback, he almost tries to pull away; but, to her shock, he kisses her back passionately and aggressively. He grabs the button on the front of her uniform and unbuttons it. He slips her top slightly off of her shoulders and kisses her chest.

He stands up as he kisses her, but, not being careful, he accidentally pushes her over in the chair, he falls on her. Anna-Marie giggles a little and grabs his belt and unbuckles it.

He kisses her again. She pulls him close. But then he pulls away and asks suddenly, "what are you doing?"

Anna-Marie almost laughs. She thought it was obvious. But then, she slowly realizes she could ruin his life. He actually had potential. He had a chance to do things with his life.

Anna-Marie sits up and buttons her top. "I'm sorry. I thought you liked me..."

He's quiet for a moment and then he wraps his arms around her and kisses her neck. He says, "I do like you..."

After a moment, she pulls away. She smiles at him lovingly. "I should quit before we make a mistake."

She stands up, but he follows after her and throws his arms around, pleading her to stay without saying a word.

"I can't work for you when I want you so much..." She straightens her clothes. "It would be selfish for me to ruin your future."

She leaves then.


The next day, she apologetically explains that she has to quit to Julie and Mark, coming up with a good excuse as to why. Julie and Mark are understanding and even kindly give her a reference.

She says goodbye to everyone in the house, one by one. She lingers near Ferris for a moment. He looks at her longingly.

Her face scrunches up in a smile at him and she bites back tears. She hopes beyond hope that she can find some way to continue to see him. She had to let go of her silly crush.

She goes.


Eventually, she turns thirty. She finishes college and wonders what to do with her life. Her family worries about her incessantly because, although she has dated during all these years, she never found anyone she was crazy about to support her. Always, the one person constantly on her mind prevented her from truly loving anyone else. He was the only one she would have, it seemed, no matter how hard she tried to shake the longing for him.

She had regrets. She should have thrown caution to the wind and convinced him to date her.

There is a chance for her to become a teacher, and she takes it.

She lives alone in a tiny house now. She goes home and always has regrets about not running away with Ferris; about not finding some way to continue a relationship with him. She thinks she is crazy for holding onto such affections for so long.

It was just an infatuation. You made the right choice. You're safe and sound and so is he...

But she is not happy.


Two more years roll by, and, on her way to the school, she accidentally drops her purse as she is rummaging through to make sure she brought everything she needs.

A man bends down and picks it up for her.

He hands it to her and she recognizes him immediately. She is shocked.

"Ferris?" She says breathlessly.

He is shocked to see her, too. He picked up the purse even though he didn't recognize her. Because that's who he is. He helps anyone--regardless of skin color.

Although there are people walking around, white and black; after staring at each other for a moment, they kiss unashamedly.

She didn't know what her future would hold. She may be making the biggest mistake of her life, or the best. She just knew anything was better than living in regret and fear, and that she felt comfortable only when she was in his arms.